Beautiful

The end of August through beginning of September was a difficult time for me. I felt like I was dying inside. In America I had had a core group of friends who I would hangout with and we would talk about the Lord and what He was doing in our lives. We would worship through song and pray together, it was great fellowship. Not only this, but I was also blessed to live with a family from my church (Greg and Linda Longabaugh) and we would have amazing fellowship everynight. As I had been here in South Africa 6 months I had not found a core group of people to celebrate life together with and to get past the surface and to the core of real life and living this life seeking after Jesus. Because of this I felt like I was wasting away. Then on top of this my engagement was broken off as I realized that this was not who God wanted me to be with. It was a very hard and humbling experience. Through all of the tears from both of these things, I grew tremendously and learned so many things.

It's as 1 Peter 5:5-11 says "...God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, know that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen."

This time in my life had a purpose and I learned so much. I am so thankful though that God has brought light into what I felt had been darkness. He did as Psalm 30:11 describes "You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness..." He really did turn my mourning into dancing. I had just prayed, as one of my friends calls it, a 9-1-1 prayer to God. And the very next day I receive a text from a lady asking if I would like to come over and watch a Rob Bell DVD. I felt this peace and joy come over me and I knew this was the beginning of something glorious. I couldn't stop praising God. I turned on the song "O Happy Day" by Jesus Culture and began to dance and dance and dance in my room, I couldn't stop for probably 20 minutes! He had turned my mourning into dancing. And when I arrived at this lady's house (Elviera) it was just as the Holy Spirit had showed me. We talked about God, what we were learning, what He was doing in our lives, etc. for hours before we even watched the DVD. We watched the DVD then afterwards continued talking and this was the beginning of a glorious relationship. I knew though that she would be leaving soon as she received a job for Carnival Cruise lines in America. I wondered what would happen when she left, but I took advantage of every opportunity I had to hangout with her while she was here. Her flight leaves tonight at 8p.

God is so amazing! Because during this time of getting to fellowship with Elviera, I have also met some other very amazing people and have begun to build some very strong, deep relationships with them. It is so amazing how God works things out perfectly. As I sat in my new house (I moved in with a South African lady, Marche) with several other ladies all eating around a table and sharing our stories about our lives and what God has done, I realized yet again how awesome God is! I had longed for deep fellowship with others and now I have that. The people God has placed in my life are so amazing. They are encouraging and challenging, very loving and compassionate. I am blessed!

All of this reminds me of one morning as I was driving to work and the sun was just coming up. I had went down a hill and was climbing back up another and as I looked out everything was so beautiful, even behind me. I felt God say to me "See even in your life both the valleys and the mountains are beautiful."

Every moment I am alive is beautiful because it is a moment of God giving me life, it is a moment of Him teaching me and guiding me, and it is another moment that I am blessed enough to get to be apart of His story here on Earth.